Users Feign Outrage over Google Privacy Breach, Do Not Plan to Change Habits
WORLDWIDE WEB, CA – After hearing reports of Google’s latest user privacy breach, technology enthusiasts have decided to express an appropriate level of obligatory outrage before quickly and quietly returning to their near complete dependence on various Google, Inc. services.
“What Google has done is unethical and violates the blind trust we users put in a massive multinational corporation,” explains Dan Johnson, a random passerby and expert on nothing of importance. “I couldn’t believe this story when it appeared in my Google News feed. Now let me get on with my life.”
Consumer advocacy groups like Consumer Watchdog promptly issued a press release detailing their disgust with the revelation along with a series of steps users can take to increase their online privacy, which users will totally ignore.
This is not Google’s first run-in with privacy advocates and follows Google’s disastrous attempt to outright buy privacy rights directly from consumers earlier this year.
In the past, internet users have halfheartedly protested Google’s increasingly intrusive privacy practices, and many hope this most recent breach does not “turn into a big deal or anything.”
For its part, Google denies any wrongdoing; instead the company has stated that if consumers do not want to receive personalized ads based on blood type, then they can always “opt-out of having nightly blood samples taken while they are sleeping.”
Google CEO, co-founder, and obscene billionaire Larry Page put it simply: “We all know none of you actually care about this, because really, what other choice do you have? Yahoo? Don’t make me laugh.”