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Christmas Day Bomber Realized He was going to Detroit

DETROIT, MICHIGAN – In what turned out to be a hilarious case of mistaken intentions, “Christmas Day Bomber” Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab allegedly attempted to detonate an explosive device on Northwest Airlines Flight 253 only after learning he was moments from arriving in Detroit, Michigan. “It

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Barack Obama Elected President of European Union

BRUSSELS, BELGIUM – In a shocking conclusion to what has been a highly contentious election, Barack Obama, known worldwide for his role as 44th President of the United Sates of America, has been elected President of the European Union. Early reports indicate that after a midnight hour surge in popularity, President Barack Obama was elected President of the European Union despite being ineligible and never having announced his candidacy.

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Is Earth another Lehman Brothers?

CANADIAN DESERT – According to high level administration officials, the White House has decided that planet Earth, long believed to be a crucial component of all human existence, will not be “bailed out” of its current climate disaster by the United States government. White House officials, who spoke on condition of anonymity for fear of reprisal, revealed that the administration “had weighed the pros and cons of saving Earth, but did not want to set a precedent that other planets may exploit.”