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Tag Archives: Santorum

Ken and etch a sketch

Analysts: “Romney is much more like a Ken doll.”

DERTROIT… ERRR WAIT, NEW ORLEANS – After an intense debate among the national news pundits, political experts have concluded that Mitt Romney is much more similar to a Ken doll than an etch-a-sketch. “While Mr. Romney’s inconsistency regarding policy matters and easy ‘shake-ability’ are clear

The Candidates

Area Man Honestly Excited About GOP Field

LANSING, MI – On the eve of Michigan’s Republican presidential primary, officials from laser sound effects and political polling organization the Pew Research Center have identified an individual living Lansing, Michigan as “dangerously excited” about current GOP field. “He tested off the charts in enthusiasm

Dog

Media Makes Nonbinding Promise to be Interested in Santorum

COLD TOWN, MN – Following a three state sweep by former senator Rick Santorum, the mainstream media has collectively decided to issue a statement expressing its nonbinding interest in Mr. Santorum during future primaries and caucuses. This surprising, yet in no way definitive, future coverage