FOREIGN NEWS SANCTUARY, BBC – A new report released by the World Wildlife Fund (WWF) has found that the ongoing BP oil spill crisis has significantly impacted the population of foreign news correspondents, which had already been placed on the endangered species list following the 2008 presidential election.
Production began almost immediately. CNN bought huge tracts of land from China, Kazakhstan, Uzbekistan, and Tajikistan in order to build its own country. Entire cities, towns, and villages were built by college interns in painstaking detail so as to accurately portray the environment of a former Soviet bloc country. Millions of people from neighboring countries were then imported into the newly formed state. According to high-level sources, every individual was assigned a specific ethnicity, personality, and political disposition.