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Denny

Mitt Romney Surprised to Meet Employed Michigan Voter

LANSING, MI – During an unscheduled stop at local Denny’s in Lansing, Michigan, former Massachusetts governor and Touch of Gray hair dye model Mitt Romney was surprised to meet an employed Michigander, according to those that witnessed the encounter. According to early reports, Mitt Romney

Dog

Media Makes Nonbinding Promise to be Interested in Santorum

COLD TOWN, MN – Following a three state sweep by former senator Rick Santorum, the mainstream media has collectively decided to issue a statement expressing its nonbinding interest in Mr. Santorum during future primaries and caucuses. This surprising, yet in no way definitive, future coverage

Fancy Romney

Smug Romney Embraces Elitist Nature

CAMPAIGN STRETCH LIMO, SC – After two top place showings in Iowa and New Hampshire, Republican frontrunner and former hair model Mitt Romney has dropped his carefully crafted common man persona and finally embraced his natural state as a pompous dandy unconcerned with the quiet desperation of the average American’s life.