MIDWEST – Pointing to an uptick in the stock market and a better than expected last quarter, economists have recently declared the recession over although many Americans on Mainstreet remain unconvinced. “Yeah, I called the Economy right after I lost my job,” recounts former steel
CHEEZBURGER, CHINA – Labor officials in China are still reeling after discovering what has been described as a “gross violation of human rights” earlier this month. Early reports indicate that several hundred underage children were made, against there will and in dangerous conditions, to produce LOLcat images for distribution on the internet. Officials have said that many of the children were found malnourished and emotionally scarred from their time in captivity.
HEARTLAND CITY, REAL AMERICA – The sun, cresting majestically over the snowy horizon, painted everything in the early morning stillness with stark lines of light and shadow. Ageless pine trees whispered softly in our ears as a light breeze filtered past Mr. Hutchinson and me, waiting patiently in our hunting stand.
“Quiet now, you don’t wanna spook ‘em,” cautioned my guide in hush tones as a well dressed man in his early 30’s entered the clearing. In the middle of the clearing lay our bait, a well written daily sales report. The businessman approached sheepishly, trying, without success, to spot any hidden threats. Just as the man reached the bait, my guide squeezed the trigger on his tranquilizer gun and dropped the executive without hesitation.