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Shockingly, CNN Still Exists

ATLANTA – Strolling through the once hallowed corridors and studios of CNN’s worldwide Atlanta headquarters, one cannot help but feel awestruck at the fact that the original cable news channel still exists. This sense of astonishment is shared not only by the larger American public,

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CNN Introduces New Country: Kyrgyzstan

Production began almost immediately. CNN bought huge tracts of land from China, Kazakhstan, Uzbekistan, and Tajikistan in order to build its own country. Entire cities, towns, and villages were built by college interns in painstaking detail so as to accurately portray the environment of a former Soviet bloc country. Millions of people from neighboring countries were then imported into the newly formed state. According to high-level sources, every individual was assigned a specific ethnicity, personality, and political disposition.