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Banks Promise Not to Fail Again

DERIVATIVE NURSERY – After many months of intense behind-the-scenes negotiations with Congress, those prominent banks which were being designated β€œtoo big to fail,” and hence received federal bailout funds, have promised not to fail again. The promise, a completely nonbinding and optional agreement, has gained

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Barack Obama Elected President of European Union

BRUSSELS, BELGIUM – In a shocking conclusion to what has been a highly contentious election, Barack Obama, known worldwide for his role as 44th President of the United Sates of America, has been elected President of the European Union. Early reports indicate that after a midnight hour surge in popularity, President Barack Obama was elected President of the European Union despite being ineligible and never having announced his candidacy.