MIDWEST – Pointing to an uptick in the stock market and a better than expected last quarter, economists have recently declared the recession over although many Americans on Mainstreet remain unconvinced. “Yeah, I called the Economy right after I lost my job,” recounts former steel
CHEEZBURGER, CHINA – Labor officials in China are still reeling after discovering what has been described as a “gross violation of human rights” earlier this month. Early reports indicate that several hundred underage children were made, against there will and in dangerous conditions, to produce LOLcat images for distribution on the internet. Officials have said that many of the children were found malnourished and emotionally scarred from their time in captivity.
CONGRESSIONAL SPA – Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid and Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi held an unannounced joint press conference yesterday, baffling political experts as to its meaning. Five hours after asking the congressional reporters “Guess what?”, Speaker Pelosi revealed that Congress and the Obama Administration had actually passed the controversial healthcare bill in late June. Both congressional leaders then burst into uproarious laughter while pointing at reporters and yelling, “Gotchya!”