Oil Spill Coverage Threatens Endangered International News Reporters
FOREIGN NEWS SANCTUARY, BBC – A new report released by the World Wildlife Fund (WWF) has found that the ongoing BP oil spill crisis has significantly impacted the population of foreign news correspondents, which had already been placed on the endangered species list following the 2008 presidential election.
“Everyone is disheartened by the current situation in the gulf,” said WWF spokesperson Don Moore while presenting the report to the media, “But we cannot forget about those in the delicate newsroom ecosystem that have been rendered helpless in the face of this horrific environmental disaster. We fear that, if left unchecked, oil spill coverage could completely pollute the news cycle and eradicate those few international correspondents still remaining in the wild.”
According to the report, the sheer amount of oil spill coverage combined with failed efforts by BP and the government to contain it, have resulted in a sharp decline of domestic interest in foreign stories. In an attempt to disperse oil spill coverage, BP has been releasing spokespeople into various news outlets. Reportedly, this technique has only served to increase the prevalence of “toxic pink slip plumes” in international correspondent habitats. Although government officials have confirmed the existence of such plumes, British Petroleum has repeatedly denied such claims, stating that it is “focused on the containment and cleanup of the oil spill coverage by any means possible” and will “continue to use dispersant techniques for as long as necessary.”
Pointing to BP CEO Tony Hayworth’s many gaffes that have regenerated public outrage and interest in the oil spill coverage; critics argue that oil company’s concern for international reporters is disingenuous.
The report could not come at a worse time for those working to increase international reporter populations. For years, international reporter populations have been devastated by an invasive species of opinionated pundits, which have grown to unprecedented levels due to the near extinction of its natural predator, objective journalists.