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Daylight Savings Time: Perpetuating a Pro-Daylight Agenda

People in a park enjoying daylight savings time

Look at the pro-sun elite enjoying their "park", mocking us. photo: Zane Selvans

OPINION – The pro-daylight lobby has held too much power in Washington for too long. Those people that “go outside” and “enjoy sunlight” have steamrolled opposing voices in the national dialogue for decades, and it is time for “night owls”, shut-ins, gingers, daywalkers, albinos, and all those that hide under layers of clothing at the beach or refuse to step into the searing light of day to unite and end the unfair practice of daylight savings time.

Now, I know that the defection of our longtime allies, vampires, to the pro-daylight camp was a great blow to our cause in recent years, but the Coalition Against Prolonged Sunlight must stand together if we are ever to realize a future where our children will not be forced to endure an extra hour of sunlight against their wishes.

Since the founding of the despicable institution, Daylight Savings Time acted as a symbol of the absolute power and impunity wielded by those in favor of longer days and shorter nights. Each year brings with it another act of remorseless cruelty and selfishness when society adds another hour, without our consent, to the waking hours of daylight. They steal away our hours of peaceful darkness and replace them with the fear of running out of sunscreen.

The pro-light agenda that runs rampant in contemporary America must be stopped. The emotional and physical costs to the segments of the population that dislike and avoid sunlight should not and cannot be ignored simply to cater to the pro-sunlight majority. What we lack in melanin and Vitamin D, we more than make up for in the strength of our sunblock.

We have literally and metaphorically been burned one too many times. And so I ask for everyone that dislikes the Sun and its hateful Ultra-Violet radiation to band together and make your voices heard.

Also, who really likes losing an hour of sleep? I mean come on, it’s 2012, can’t we figure out a better way system?

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