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Category Archives: National

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Congress Debates “Jurassic Park” Policy to Combat Rising Gas Prices

WASHINGTON D.C. – In a move to prevent the nation’s rising gas prices from stymieing a lackluster economic recovery, congressional Republicans have backed a cutting-edge proposal by Representative Tim Johnson (R-IL) to investigate the energy extraction potential of dinosaurs cloned from DNA found in prehistoric

Recovery ecnomy exemplified by a checkout counter.

Business Leaders Apologize to Republicans for Recovering Economy

NEW YORK CITY, NY – The tone was decidedly conciliatory as the nation’s most powerful titans of industry apologized to the Republican Party for America’s economic recovery. The influential cabal of business leaders expressed regret and disappointment in their collective inability to keep the nation’s

Newt Gingrich explains his plan to abolish Leap Day.

Gingrich: “I would abolish Leap Day.”

TIME VORTEX, EARTH’S CORE – In a bid to grab headlines and energize his ailing campaign for the GOP presidential nomination, former US House Speaker and Pillsbury dough boy Newt Gingrich has recently declared that he would “abolish the elitist, big government doctrine of Leap