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Category Archives: National

Mega Millions Ticket

Romney Welcomes Mega Millions Winners into the 1%

CHEESE LAKE, WI – Upon hearing about the winners of the record breaking Mega Millions Lottery Jackpot, former human being Mitt Romney was quick to welcome the lucky individuals into the upper-rungs of the American socio-economic ladder. “I would like to personally congratulate the Mega

Justices Breyer and Thomas arm wrestle to decide a court case.

Supreme Court Just Making It Up As It Goes Along

SECRET JUSTICE REJUVENATION POOL – Anonymous sources close to the high court have revealed that the seemingly sagacious Supreme Court Justices are “just making it up as they go along” when comes to deciding irrevocable court cases affecting the entire country. The embarrassing revelation comes

Ken and etch a sketch

Analysts: “Romney is much more like a Ken doll.”

DERTROIT… ERRR WAIT, NEW ORLEANS – After an intense debate among the national news pundits, political experts have concluded that Mitt Romney is much more similar to a Ken doll than an etch-a-sketch. “While Mr. Romney’s inconsistency regarding policy matters and easy ‘shake-ability’ are clear