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Category Archives: National

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Economy Recovers to Spite American Worker

MIDWEST – Pointing to an uptick in the stock market and a better than expected last quarter, economists have recently declared the recession over although many Americans on Mainstreet remain unconvinced. “Yeah, I called the Economy right after I lost my job,” recounts former steel

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Congress Just Kidding, Passed Healthcare Bill in June

CONGRESSIONAL SPA – Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid and Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi held an unannounced joint press conference yesterday, baffling political experts as to its meaning. Five hours after asking the congressional reporters “Guess what?”, Speaker Pelosi revealed that Congress and the Obama Administration had actually passed the controversial healthcare bill in late June. Both congressional leaders then burst into uproarious laughter while pointing at reporters and yelling, “Gotchya!”

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Man Hunts Down Job

HEARTLAND CITY, REAL AMERICA – The sun, cresting majestically over the snowy horizon, painted everything in the early morning stillness with stark lines of light and shadow. Ageless pine trees whispered softly in our ears as a light breeze filtered past Mr. Hutchinson and me, waiting patiently in our hunting stand.

“Quiet now, you don’t wanna spook ‘em,” cautioned my guide in hush tones as a well dressed man in his early 30’s entered the clearing. In the middle of the clearing lay our bait, a well written daily sales report. The businessman approached sheepishly, trying, without success, to spot any hidden threats. Just as the man reached the bait, my guide squeezed the trigger on his tranquilizer gun and dropped the executive without hesitation.