Production began almost immediately. CNN bought huge tracts of land from China, Kazakhstan, Uzbekistan, and Tajikistan in order to build its own country. Entire cities, towns, and villages were built by college interns in painstaking detail so as to accurately portray the environment of a former Soviet bloc country. Millions of people from neighboring countries were then imported into the newly formed state. According to high-level sources, every individual was assigned a specific ethnicity, personality, and political disposition.
RUNAWAY CAMRY, KANSAS – Criticized as lethargic in its response to potentially deadly problems in some of its most popular models, car giant Toyota Motor Corp. fought off barrage after barrage of intense questioning by Congress this week. The embattled manufacturer attempted to walk the razor’s edge between displaying humility while trying to save face and reinvigorate confidence in its product.
BRUSSELS, BELGIUM – In a shocking conclusion to what has been a highly contentious election, Barack Obama, known worldwide for his role as 44th President of the United Sates of America, has been elected President of the European Union. Early reports indicate that after a midnight hour surge in popularity, President Barack Obama was elected President of the European Union despite being ineligible and never having announced his candidacy.