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New TSA Pat Downs a Let Down

ROMANTIC INTERROGATION ROOM, TSA DUNGEON – New advanced airport screening guidelines for Transportation Security Apartment officials have caused an uproar across the internet in recent days as crestfallen air travelers describe disappointing procedures.

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Olbermann Proposes to Democratic Party

OLBERMANN LAIR, NYC – In a heartwarming display of true love, MSNBC pundit and anti-O’Reilly, Keith Olbermann, finally proposed to longtime sweetheart, the Democratic Party, on October 28th, 2010 after years of stolen glances and overt flirtation. According to sources close to happy couple, Olbermann had invited the Democratic Party over to his home on that late October night under the pretense of burning former president George W. Bush’s memoir, Gaffe Master: Living in a World of Truthiness.

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Oil Spill Coverage Threatens Endangered International News Reporters

FOREIGN NEWS SANCTUARY, BBC – A new report released by the World Wildlife Fund (WWF) has found that the ongoing BP oil spill crisis has significantly impacted the population of foreign news correspondents, which had already been placed on the endangered species list following the 2008 presidential election.