NO SPIN ZONE – Data recently released by the Environmental Protection Agency suggests that the “No Spin Zone” located on the set of The O’Reilly Factor with Bill O’Reilly, a popular program on the Fox News Network, is adversely affecting planet Earth’s natural rotation, experts say.
LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL – Read from the trembling lips of a balding, translucent man with a faint air of belabored resignation, the statement stunned those members of the media in attendance. Jaws dropped. Pens fell to the floor. The faint of heart swooned. Questions soon erupted from the silent void, however, besieging the resolute figure with one singular question: How? The pale man wiped a brow, scarred by eons of wrinkles, and began his dismal tale.