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Americans Surprised they have not Invaded Syria Yet

WASHINGTON, D.C. – A recent poll conducted by the Extreme Polling, Inc. has found that a significant majority of Americans are honestly surprised that the country has yet to intervene in the ongoing conflict in Syria.

“Wait, that whole ‘Syria’ thing is still going on? Really? I thought we mopped that up months ago,” responded one average American mother of 2.5 children when confronted with the fact that both the North Atlantic Treaty Organization and the United Nations have failed to prevent violence from being perpetrated against civilian populations in Syria.

The EPI polling data indicated that a substantial portion of the voting age public, nearly 67%, “could have sworn” that America had invaded Syria to quell the violence and dictate a peaceful transition of power.

America's "To Do" list

America's "To Do" list located on the White House fridge

Another 14% indicated that they “were sure intervention is on America’s ‘To Do’ list.” The poll had a standard +/- 4% margin of error with an alternative +/- 20% margin of error for people that thought the poll was about Libya.

Experts tend to agree that most Americans have been too busy paying attention to celebrity deaths and actively gaining weight than to worry themselves over the unrest in the Middle Eastern country.

“We really shouldn’t let them get a nuclear weapon,” mistakenly replied one man who, unfortunately, is most likely a community leader and probably has offspring.

“When asked why they had not paid closer attention to the events in Syria, most respondents thought that the country, currently experiencing wave after wave of violence, had already become a beacon of democracy,” explained Frank Galconi, a senior pollster for EPI. “Our data also shows that the majority of people thought Syria was ‘somewhere south of Arizona’ and was ‘Mexico’s problem’.”

Upon being told the truth of the matter, the majority of respondents displayed an appropriate level of embarrassment before quickly losing interest in the subject and wondering if they set the DVR to record the newest episode of The Voice.

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