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Monthly Archives: March 2012

Rick Santorum

News Media Scrambles to Prolong GOP Primary Contest

CHICAGO, IL – Former moderate Mitt Romney’s sizable lead in the polls over rival Rick Santorum on the eve of Illinois’ primary has forced major news media outlets to scramble to prolong what has become a bitter nomination process. “Through diligent, hard work, the cable

Ron Paul

Ron Paul Campaign Forgets Candidate at Gas Station

CORNVILLE, IL – According to early reports, Texas Representative and Republican presidential nominee candidate Ron Paul was forgotten by his campaign staff at a local gas station after they had finished refueling. Sources close to the campaign stated that they were paying attention to “more

God comments about the Pope

God Distances Christianity from Rick Santorum

HEAVEN – Looking worn and haggard in front of a rapt press corps, the supreme being of all creation began to distance himself and the entirety of Christianity from GOP hopeful and religious conservative Rick Santorum. The Alpha and the Omega of the cosmos stated