Monthly Archives: March 2012
Supreme Court Just Making It Up As It Goes Along
SECRET JUSTICE REJUVENATION POOL – Anonymous sources close to the high court have revealed that the seemingly sagacious Supreme Court Justices are “just making it up as they go along” when comes to deciding irrevocable court cases affecting the entire country. The embarrassing revelation comes after three days of heated oral arguments regarding the Affordable [...]
Analysts: “Romney is much more like a Ken doll.”
DERTROIT… ERRR WAIT, NEW ORLEANS – After an intense debate among the national news pundits, political experts have concluded that Mitt Romney is much more similar to a Ken doll than an etch-a-sketch. “While Mr. Romney’s inconsistency regarding policy matters and easy ‘shake-ability’ are clear etch-a-sketch attributes, his carefully sculpted hair, lifeless eyes, and smug [...]
Delusional Gingrich Breaks into Oval Office, Declares Self President
WASHINGTON D.C. – According to early reports, the Secret Service detained a belligerent, irascible Newt Gingrich after the GOP hopeful had broken into the Oval Office and declared himself President of the United States of America. While the investigation is still ongoing, the former United States House Speaker somehow bypassed some of the most sophisticated [...]