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Monthly Archives: February 2012

Newt Gingrich explains his plan to abolish Leap Day.

Gingrich: “I would abolish Leap Day.”

TIME VORTEX, EARTH’S CORE – In a bid to grab headlines and energize his ailing campaign for the GOP presidential nomination, former US House Speaker and Pillsbury dough boy Newt Gingrich has recently declared that he would “abolish the elitist, big government doctrine of Leap

The Candidates

Area Man Honestly Excited About GOP Field

LANSING, MI – On the eve of Michigan’s Republican presidential primary, officials from laser sound effects and political polling organization the Pew Research Center have identified an individual living Lansing, Michigan as “dangerously excited” about current GOP field. “He tested off the charts in enthusiasm

Pirate Flag

Europe “Calls a Mulligan” regarding Somalia

LONDON, UK – After watching Somalia marinate in two decades of civil war and violent instability like the world’s worst stew, Europe has decided to redo the entire country. “We now admit that Somalia is kind of our bad,” stated British Prime Minister and James