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Monthly Archives: April 2010

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John McCain Never a Maverick, Becomes Ultimate Maverick

McCAIN REALITY ZONE, AZ – Encased in a floating orb of pure maverick energy given tangible form, Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) was a sight to behold as he drifted inches above the ground while talking to constituents at a reelection rally. Calling it the “maverick effect,” locals seemed unfazed as their limbs morphed into unrecognizable objects of another dimension when shaking the senator’s hand.

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CNN Introduces New Country: Kyrgyzstan

Production began almost immediately. CNN bought huge tracts of land from China, Kazakhstan, Uzbekistan, and Tajikistan in order to build its own country. Entire cities, towns, and villages were built by college interns in painstaking detail so as to accurately portray the environment of a former Soviet bloc country. Millions of people from neighboring countries were then imported into the newly formed state. According to high-level sources, every individual was assigned a specific ethnicity, personality, and political disposition.