Monthly Archives: December 2009
Barack Obama Elected President of European Union
BRUSSELS, BELGIUM – In a shocking conclusion to what has been a highly contentious election, Barack Obama, known worldwide for his role as 44th President of the United Sates of America, has been elected President of the European Union. Early reports indicate that after a midnight hour surge in popularity, President Barack Obama was elected President of the European Union despite being ineligible and never having announced his candidacy.
O’Reilly Factor’s “No Spin Zone” Disrupts Earth’s Rotation
NO SPIN ZONE – Data recently released by the Environmental Protection Agency suggests that the “No Spin Zone” located on the set of The O’Reilly Factor with Bill O’Reilly, a popular program on the Fox News Network, is adversely affecting planet Earth’s natural rotation, experts say.
Tech Department Hopes to Raise Student Inconvenience by 28% this Semester
SUBTERRANEAN SERVER LABYRINTH – Looking excitedly from cubicle to cubicle, Tech Director Allan “Crazy Al” Hobkins was in high spirits as he walked past his colleagues early Monday morning.
“We’ve really accomplished something here- really provided a service that can’t be counted on,” said the head of Michigan State University’s Tech Department, nearly tearing up as he walked past a training cubicle where employees were being instructed on how to most effectively misinterpret an email error report.