Barclays: “Libor A Smashing Success!”

Conference Call

LONDON – By manipulating the London Inter-Banking Offer Rate (Libor), multinational British banking and financial services institution Barclays has successfully surpassed all recent banking scandals in size and scope, say industry experts. “Due to the sheer magnitude this revelation, Barclays is now in a dominant position in the competitive banking corruption market. With the ongoing investigation, this scandal will last […]

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Scientists Run Out of Condescending Scientific Analogies for Normal People

Fun Fact: The book about the Higgs boson was originally titled the "Goddamn Particle" because of how hard it was to find but was changed so as not to offend anyone.

GENEVA – With the discovery of a potential Higgs particle, the scientific community has officially exhausted its supply of condescending analogies to explain complex scientific concepts to the average person. “We really tried with this one, but there was just no way to reduce the complexity of quantum mechanics and the Higgs-Boson in such a […]

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Dems Scramble to Snatch Defeat from Jaws of Supreme Court Victory

Joe Biden

WASHINGTON, D.C. – After two years of continuous assault from conservative critics over President Obama’s landmark healthcare reform legislation, Democrats are scrambling to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory after being almost completely vindicated by the Supreme Court of the United States. Completely blindsided by the favorable 5-4 decision from Chief Justice John Roberts, […]

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